HIV

HIV- more than just a disease

In this blog post I am going to tell you my best friend’s story. I choose to tell his story so that everyone that stood close to him can understand what he went through. I will tell you about his time with the disease and the stigmatization around HIV.

Imagine all the people in the world holding hands as a tight unite. Suddenly you are pushed out of this safe circle and stand on the outside alone. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to get in again. You scream and beg. But what showed was only the fear and uncertainty in people’s eyes, beyond that, silence .This is what a lot of HIV infected feel, and so did my best friend.

Jesper was diagnosed a hemophiliac as a young child. I remember when we were children I would always be protective of him. The funny thing was, that I didn’t know what a hemophiliac was, but I knew he was something different than the other children. He was my best friend since kindergarten and I still tried to protect him after he was diagnosed, even though it was difficult.

One very unfortunate evening, Jesper was in an accident. He lost a lot of blood, and the only way to survive was through blood treatment. Why him, why precisely that bag of blood? I know he asked himself this question a thousand times. As you probably understand he became infected with HIV-1 that night. Precisely the same thing happened to Ryan White. Ryan was given 6 months to live, my best friend was given a year.

We used to do everything together – that was long ago. After he was diagnosed with HIV-1 everything changed. In the beginning, it was a distant, blurred phenomenon, which we only came across in newspapers and on radio and television, something peculiar to homosexuals. It didn’t sink in; I wouldn’t let it sink in. Friends were supportive and sent flowers and other materialistic things. But they never came and visited him at the hospital. At this time there was a lot of whispering in corners and rumors were spread even before he was diagnosed. “Who had he had unprotected sex with? Had anyone shared a bottle with him?” I even remember classmates refusing to touch his books in fear of being infected.

I spent a lot of time with Jesper’s mother and father at the hospital. Jesper was an only child. His mother kept talking about how inseparable we had always been. In the beginning I would smile and laugh along as she told nostalgic stories. But inside I was breaking. It felt like being stabbed right in the heart. The thought of not having him around was unbearable.

Jesper became weaker and thinner. Only wilted flowers stood by his bed side now. At this time it became too hard for his parents and at the most crucial time of his disease they choose to distance themselves. I have never been so angry and felt so helpless, imagine how Jesper must have felt. He was experiencing rejection, discrimination and avoidance at the same time as he was struggling for his life. His immune system was failing. This associated with an infection claimed his life. On the morning of 7 April 2010 he had passed away, 17 years old. I can’t even start to explain, how hard this was on me. Minutes felt like days and days felt like weeks. If you have every lost someone close, you know the feeling where everything just falls to pieces. Nothing makes sense anymore and nothing matters.

Jesper is unfortunately not the only one to have passed away after being infected with HIV. HIV has approximately infected 0,6% of the world’s population, and youths are the most exposed because they are the AIDS generation. Many youths around the world are so used to the epidemic that they couldn’t imagine a world without it. They don’t have the money or the knowledge to change this. In addition to this there is a lot of stigmatized around HIV.

Effortless Tears is a short story about HIV and AIDS I read at school after Jespers death. The short story takes place in Africa and AIDS is widespread. The locals in the story refer to AIDS in an indirect term: that animal, that phantom, that creature, that beast. It was not out of any respect for the dead. It was out of despair. They do this because the disease is extremely stigmatized as well. This is because in most countries, it is an experienced shame of having HIV/AIDS. In Africa there is little information about HIV and AIDS, and this is a big issue. As well as the medicine is not available in many poor countries. But mostly many are afraid. I believe we also are in the western world. We should fight HIV, not people with the disease. There is such a big difference which people barely notice. They act in fear, and this is what happened to Jesper. I will never forget how he was treated.

Sources:
PowerPoint: HIV http://fronter.com/osloskoler/main.phtml
International English book: Worldwide written by Eva Haugum etc. Page 174-179.
http://info.k4health.org/pr/l12edsum.shtml FACTS about HIV/AIDS and youths